Do you feel guilty about crossdressing or being transgender? Sadly, many of “my girls” tell me that they do.

If you feel you have to lie or sneak around to keep your feminine side hidden, I can understand the conflict.

But let’s get one thing straight – there’s nothing wrong with crossdressing or being transgender. Period.

We live in a world with very defined gender roles. Unfortunately, these roles are even more rigid for males.

It’s OK for women to express their masculinity by dressing like tomboys or by acting strong and assertive. But if a guy looks or acts feminine, he’s labeled as weird, weak, or gay.

The underlying message is that it’s OK to be masculine (even if you’re a woman), but femininity is something to be ashamed of.

What the heck!?

Society is slowing changing, but the time to reject these outdated messages is NOW.

I think Iggy Pop said it best:

“I’m not ashamed to dress like a woman because I don’t think it’s shameful to be a woman.”

There’s no shame in changing your gender to match who you are on the inside either!

I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts on this topic…

Do you struggle with guilt or is it a non-issue for you? If you’ve overcome feelings of guilt, how did you do so?

Please take my poll and leave me your comments below!

Love,
Lucille

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post’s poll.

Putting on a dress and some lipstick aren’t the only ways to get into girl mode. (We women are more complex than that!) That’s why I wanted to go beyond the obvious and share 3 surprising ways to feel more feminine:

1. Lean back

I recently attended a teleclass hosted by my friend, relationship and intimacy coach Annie Lalla. One of the participants asked how she could feel more connected with her femininity. (Yes, genetic girls struggle with this, too! A lot of women have too much masculine energy and it drives guys away.)

Annie’s advice was to “lean back”. I LOVED this and thought it was also great advice for transgender women …

First, check your body. Are you leaning forward or leaning back? Leaning forward like you are poised for action is very masculine. Get into the habit of leaning back. When you are sitting down, imagine you are a queen leaning back in her throne. Feels good, doesn’t it?

Then, check your behavior. Are you one of those girls who pushes her way through life? If so, you need to “lean back” in your actions and in your conversations with others. Try less muscling and more allowing. “Leaning back” is a great metaphor for living from your feminine.

2. Try a different perfume

The right fragrance can connect you with your femininity like nothing else.

While it’s great to have a “signature scent,” don’t get stuck to an old perfume. Since scent is strongly linked to memories, your current perfume might be bringing you back to a time that doesn’t represent who you are now.

If so, it’s time to go shopping! Look for a perfume that matches the qualities you want to express. Think floral scents if you want to express your romantic side and oriental or woody scents if you want to bring out your inner seductress.

3. Smile

Ok, hear me out before you dismiss this last tip as a cheesy platitude. There are loads of reasons why smiling is a fabulous beauty and femininity booster:

• Smiling releases endorphins in the brain that boost your mood.
• Smiling lifts your cheeks and gives you a natural facelift.
• Smiling makes other people happy.
• Smiling makes you look more feminine.

The last point is especially interesting. According to a Japanese study, smiling faces are rated as more feminine than serious faces. That’s because women and girls smile more frequently than boys and men.

There is an art to smiling, so practice in front of a mirror until you find your best smile. (Try big and small smiles and smiling with your mouth open and closed.) Then work that feminine smile as often as you can!

So, girlfriend, what are YOUR favorite ways to feel more feminine? You know I love a good discussion, so leave me your comments below!

Love,
Lucille

Feminization Secrets Blog